Losing a Best Friend: Animals and Companions
Marie Mastracco, LCPC

A nagging loneliness that won’t go away. The aching pit in your stomach, or the void that nothing can seem to fill. The changes in appetite and/or sleeping, and loss of interest in the things that used to bring you
joy. These are some of the symptoms of grief and bereavement.
If we were to say that we lost our best friend, most people would expect us to tell our stories involving a human male or female friend. When a human friend or family member dies, most of society’s reaction is acceptance and understanding. Our symptoms of grief and bereavement are expected and understood by most. However, when one loses a beloved pet, regardless of its age or type, society doesn’t always understand our reaction.

To help us deal with grief and bereavement, hospitals employ specially trained nurses and other staff trained in grief counseling, and they welcome clergy and hospice to help us deal with our loss. Our friends and family often try to comfort us by lending a sympathetic ear, a caring presence, cooking or even cleaning. In the community there are support groups and organizations that focus on grief and bereavement to assist us in bereavement process. However, that same acceptance and support is rarely afforded or available when one loses a pet. Often I will hear of a pet owner say, “I know it’s just a cat”, or “I know he was just a dog.” Others may wonder “Why is she so upset?” When I lost my first best friend, I was told, “Marie, it was just
a dog”. “It?! What do you mean “IT” ?” And although that person has had many dogs, he still to this day cannot understand my intense reaction to my dog’s death. It was my personal experience with pet loss which led me of offer a true understanding and support to those who have lost their pets.

When someone loses a pet to death, accident, loss, or a division of property after a divorce, a tie has been broken. Many people consider their pets as part of their family. They take them on vacation; some may sleep with them or have them by their bed side. Our pets are teachers for many, and agents of unconditional love. They love you whether you are late getting home, late with breakfast or dinner, if you don’t feel like playing, and even if you’re feeling down or grouchy. When life seems down and out, you know you can
depend on your best friend to be there.

If you know someone who has lost a pet, support them by encouraging them to talk about what they’re feeling and about their pet. They may want to reminisce and tell stories. Tell them what you know; “Fluffy really loved you too”, or “Yes, you two were inseparable.” Use your own memories and your own words. Sometimes silence and your unconditional presence are enough. People know when you are genuine. Sometimes a person was not able to say “good by” to their pet, and they may need to carry out a “letting go” ritual. Finally, let your friend know that there are counselors and support groups available who specialized in pet bereavement, who understand and are willing to help.

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Losing a Best Friend: Animals and Companions

Marie Mastracco, LCPC